Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
my liver is dry heaving
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
