We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
