He kissed a someone with a penis
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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