So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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