what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
