We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
