Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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