why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize