I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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