Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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