If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
