I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My vagina is very pro this idea
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
