Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
