Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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