Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We need to get me chipped asap
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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