I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
