you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
