In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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