Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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