I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
