They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
