i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize