The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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