Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
soo... how was my night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
