It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
