and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
