yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
