If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
