Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
