I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
