i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
