she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize