What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
