Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
