I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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