Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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