if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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