hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize