Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize