I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
