How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
