I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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