hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
