Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So much rum. So many feels.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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