He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
