tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
