He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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