she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
