If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize