As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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