In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
