I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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