vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
