There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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