Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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