Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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