i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
