If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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