the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
