don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
