Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
