There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He shit in the fireplace
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