There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
should my penis look like a turkey
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
