I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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