Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
