Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There r osticjed everywhere
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize