i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
