have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
