This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
