Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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